When Did I Become so Laid Back?

I am well known as a control freak and perfectionist.  Growing up, I always thought that when it was time for me to be married, I would need every single detail to be perfect.  My friends, as much as they love me, feared that I would drive them crazy when planning my wedding.  There is a Diet Dr. Pepper from a couple years ago with a bride who was putting her bridesmaids through bridesmaid bootcamp.  In a drill instructor voice, the bride said something like, "You nails will be painted! You hair will be up!"  All of my friends called me and told me that was going to be me and they were dreading it but were preparing themselves for it emotionally.  And I laughed and agreed with them because I knew that it was true.

Now that I am actually planning my wedding, and have been planning for the last 9 months, things have changed.  I am close to obsession with lots of details for my wedding.  Everytime I walk into a store, I look for a great deal that could be incorporated into our wedding even though it is still more than a year away.  But most of my worries are about making my guests feel and understand how happy we are to have them in our lives and for them to all have the best time ever.  It is so important to me that I be a good hostess that things like matching bridesmaids dresses and painted nails mean very little to me.  I am not so concerned with what the bridesmaids wear or how their hair is.  All I really care about is that they have a great time and that they feel as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside.

I had one of my lovely bridesmaids over for dinner a few nights ago while my man was at the baseball game with friends.  And of course we started talking about wedding stuff and she asked me what dresses I had in mind for the bridesmaids.  She was literally shocked when I told her that she can pick her own dress as long as it is the same color and fabric as the other bridesmaids (and not strapless, I have banned strapless dresses from my wedding party because I personally feel they are overdone).  Then she asked me if she can wear her hair down and I told her that I really don't care.  Apparently, that is also shocking because so many other brides make their bridesmaids get their hair done in a certain way.  The nail in the coffin for her perception of me came when I told her that I will not require her to have anything done (hair, makeup, nails, etc.) unless I am paying for it myself.  If she chooses to get those things done with me I think that's great but I would feel awful to force people to spend money for something that they might want to just do themselves.

After all these years, I have become a slightly less Type-A personality while planning the event that turns lots of sane women into "Bridezillas".  Shocking.